Saturday, January 30, 2016

Difficult Decisions

I recently started at a new job and have been there now for 2 weeks. For once I finally am excited to go to work. For pretty much a full year after graduating I was working in positions that were stressful and surrounded by negative people who made working miserable and I truly dreaded going to work everyday. I was starting to think that I had made the wrong career choice and that no matter what job I chose they would all be the same. But this job is so different. The environment is peaceful and everyone around me is so positive and kind. I leave work happy and feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Another perk to this job are the benefits and the long term possibilities. Most of the people who work there have been there almost 20 years and rave about how they enjoy working there. I can truly see myself even staying long term and making this a career job!

But.... that scares me in a way.

Am I truly ready to "settle down" and make this job my career? 

Am I choosing happiness at work over following my dreams?

What about of living in Wyoming or Texas or Alaska? 

What about traveling across the US in a vintage Airstream?

What about raising bucking bulls? 

What about all those other big crazy dreams I thought had for my life?

Am I ready to give all those things up? 

Like the picture above I never thought I was born to pay bills and die. I always dreamed big and wanted my life to be extraordinary and it scares me to think that I could be giving that all up.

But I hate to give up this opportunity. I am so grateful everyday that I took the chance to apply for this job because it's truly been a blessing. Maybe this is where God wants me to be? I am praying everyday for guidance and for Him to show me what is best for my life. 

Who knows maybe it's possible to be happy at work AND still accomplish all my dreams? 

I guess we'll wait and see....


Thursday, December 31, 2015


It's 6:00 pm on New Years eve. Only 6 hrs left of 2015. I'm sitting at home alone, sitting on the couch watching football, and eating leftovers. Exciting I know! But when you worked last night and have to work again tonight partying is out of question.

I don't even know how to describe 2015. The things I think of first about this year seem to be all the bad that happened. But then I remember there was also some good but the bad is what's more powerful and what seem to define the year and I hate that it's that way. So to try to change my mood about the day I'm going to list the things that i'm thankful this past year brought and to bring some positiveness into the last few hours of the year.

I am thankful for.....

  • Passing my Nursing Boards and became an LPN on the first try
  • Work. Although stressful and testing at times I am thankful for my job that has provided not only an income for me but experience and growth.
  • Serving as the 2015 Mo Honey Queen. That brought me many new friends, the opportunity to explore new places, and the chance to advocate for something special to me. 
  • My new (to me) car. 
  • Family. I am beyond thankful for the moments I got to spend with my family this year and the memories made. Don't ever take anyone for granted because the second you do you'll turn around and they won't be there anymore. 
  • Friends. Not only have I made a few new friends thanks to my travels as honey queen, but I think that my friendship with some people have strengthened. I'm finally at the point in my life that I embrace the people who truly care about me and cherish their friendships. 
  • God. Through all that's happened I know that I can trust that God is always there for me and knows what's best for me. I have had to lean on Him quite a lot this year and just can't imagine a life without Him. 

I think that resolutions are overrated but.....I love lists and setting new goals. And hey maybe this year will be the year I actually follow through with my plans!! :) Here's what i'm shooting for, for next year.

  • Read 52 new books
  • Finish a Quilting project I've already started
  • Drink 100 oz of water per day
  • No pop
  • Write 1 blog post each week
  • Each week write out 5 things that have made me happy
  • Spend at least 15 min each day reading from the Bible
  • Travel. Even if it's only a few hours away. Explore something new!
  • Try 50 new recipes
  • Write more letters
Here's to 2016. I hope that it brings me some happiness and not a lot of sorrow. I hope that for my friends and family it brings peace and happiness. I am excited to see what 2016 brings. 

Many Blessings to All! 

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Those Big Yellow Bucking Chutes

They bring them out just for 10 days a year in early December. They may just seem like some metal welded together with a coat of yellow and blue paint on them. But for some they represent where dreams come true. 

Behind them 15 of the best men line up to wait their turn to achieve those life long dreams or have them shattered after an injury or a 7.8 second ride.

They can't talk or tell their story, although some wish they could. The history made within them and the legends that have touched them both man and beast could fill the pages of several books.

They've seen sweat, blood, tears, smiles and have heard a whole lot of prayers for a safe ride and the hopes to make that final whistle. 

For 8 short seconds man and beast connect and create great moments that are remembered and talked about for generations. 

For some people their dreams involve grassy football fields or baseball diamonds under big bright lights. But for the cowboy he dreams of those big yellow chutes and an arena filled with dirt. All with the hopes of a gold buckle, a bottle of Pendleton,  and a chance to put his name down in the history books. 

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Timing is Everything

I often hear many different people, mostly of older generations, describe us "millenials" as lazy people who lack a work ethic and who want everything handed to them. I partially agree with them on this statement but I also know of many who are exactly the opposite and they shouldn't clump us all together. But it's hard in today's society because we are creating things and technology that makes our lives essentially easier and allows us to accomplish tasks without as much effort and in a lot less time. We also hear about so many individuals who are becoming successful at something in a short amount of time and for things that don't nessesaraly require a lot of talent. (you tube sensations and reality tv stars...) That gives us the illusion that things don't need to take time and that if we have dreams and ideas that we should have them right away. 

Unfortunately I've come to realize that those individuals are the lucky ones and that in reality things take time and frankly it's hard sometimes waiting for everything to fall into place. In my FFA days in high school I listened to countless speakers speak on the subject of setting goals and having dreams and I have to tell you I was sold on that idea. It gave me hope that every dream I had could be obtained and that I could do anything or be anyone and for years it fueled me. I, unlike many students in my graduating class, knew what I wanted out of life and thought that in a few short years all my dreams and plans would become a reality. Boy was I wrong!!! I guess life or God thought that I needed knocked off of my nicely paved straight road and into the mud a few, scratch that, a lot of times. It seems that no matter what I've tried to do I hit brick wall after brick wall and man does that suck! Lately I just wanted to give up on everything I ever wanted and just burry my self in my bed and just wait until it all is better. Unfortunately that can't and won't happen and it won't solve a thing. 

But now what? I've cried, I've been angry, I've mopped around, I've read over many sad quotes on Pinterest, and received a pep talk from my mom. I guess it's time to dust myself off and get back to work. I need to set down reevaluate my goals and ambitions, instead of just giving them up, and set up a new plan. Most importantly I need to trust in Gods timing and know that He only gives me what I can handle at this time. Maybe during this process I will see that somethings that I wanted 4 years ago are no longer what I want and that I need to let go of that certain dream. But I can't be sad, because I know that as a person I've changed and that there are many new things that interest me and that will only create new dreams. 

I'm glad that I wrote this out as my first real blog post on this blog because this imbodies what this blog is about. A fresh start and a new direction. 


Tuesday, December 1, 2015

A New Beginning

I had been wanting to start a new blog for awhile now but never really had the motivation or that final push that I needed until recently. 2 different friends of mine, both of whom I met through blogging, recently did this and it really inspired me and got me thinking that this is the right time. I absolutely loved doing my other blog and this November marked 3 years since I started it. It was really something I needed coming out of high school and something I'm thankful for. I have "met" so many amazing people through blogging. Some I call great friends. But I had kind of got myself into a rut and things just weren't exciting any more. Heck that's how my life feels like right now. I really fell like things are just at a stand still and I needed a fresh start and a sort of re-branding of my blog presence. Also I'm just a totally different person than I was 3 years ago when I started the other blog. So here we are now!

First why "The Dream of Generations"? As you can see below the title it came from the song My Fathers Daughter by Jewel. When I heard that phrase it really stuck with me. I'm someone who loves family history and am lucky enough to have people on both my mom and dads side of the family who know a lot about my family history. Through them I've learned about my relatives and have realized how many of the things they did and their character that I see in myself. I am always trying to live my life in a way to honor them.

A little bit about me...

I am currently working as a nurse and really that's what consumes most of my time these days. I work night shift so most of my days are spent sleeping which leads to a very boring life. I live on a small farm in Missouri where at the moment the only animals we have are 2 miniature donkeys, 3 bee hives, and a corgi named Duke!

For the past 2 years I've had the amazing opportunity to travel over 10,000 miles promoting the honey bee. I met so many amazing people throughout that journey and got to spread the word and advocate for something that I love. That consumed quite a bit of my time and energy that it's weird now that is done and i'm not spending my free time planning upcoming trips, activities, and presentations!! 

I love going on road trips and have had the opportunity to travel to some neat places but have so many more places on my bucket list! I love exploring new places and learning all that I can about a place from its history to its food! I love to cook and bake and am always trying to develop new skills in the kitchen. I have invested in a good camera and have taken thousands of pictures with it! I have recently found a great passion in quilting or rather buying fabric for all the hundreds of projects I want to do! I am an antique/vintage/retro junkie! I prefer old things to new. That's pretty much me in a nutshell. 

I hope you enjoy this new blog and will follow along on my journey as I continue to figure out life and my place in it!